Location: Considerations: To leave or to stay? | Language: en

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To leave or to stay?

Reasons to leave:

The longer she waits, the harder it gets:

  • the violence will escalate each time
  • her self-confidence deteriorates
  • continual fear paralyses her
  • her health is suffering

She gains:

  • confidence in her own strength
  • strain decreases
  • many mental and physical disturbances disappear
  • she is no longer isolated, she can talk about it with others
  • she has a future again

Reasons for staying:

  • threats from the man
  • material concerns
  • fear of being unable to manage alone
  • concerns about the children
  • hope that he will change
  • feeling ashamed about failing as a wife
  • pity for the man - instead of for oneself

Temporary separation

You can also temporarily:

  • move into a women’s shelter (Frauenhaus) or
  • obtain a legal order that the abuser move out (Wegweisung)

Now that you are safe, you can

  • o take time to think about what you really want
  • negotiate with your husband/partner
  • take legal action without exposing yourself to immediate danger

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